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Sunday, July 27, 2014

A lifestyle check: Beauty isn't so easy

This is supposed to be a beauty, fashion, and lifestyle blog, but I haven't really done many lifestyle posts to date. I guess that's because I know that my lifestyle hasn't exactly been anything to brag about. But I feel like this week, I did something that is worth at least a tiny mention on this blog.

I went to see a nutritionist for the first time in my life.

Seeing a nutritionist really affects every part of this blog: beauty, fashion, and lifestyle. I'm seeing a nutritionist because I've put on a crazy amount of weight since starting grad school. 50 pounds. In a year. Yikes. Clothes that I bought in October no longer fits me now in July and it's clear that I've let myself go, I just didn't realize how much. In combination with grad school stress, I've also been dealing with waiting for knee surgery and I can't really do much physical activity because of it.

I've never been a "small" girl. I've never had a tiny waist, I've always had big hips, and I've never really paid attention to what I eat, but the last year has just been awful. Adjusting to the stress of grad school has done a number on me. I started the year at about 130, and I am now at 181 lbs. Even at my heaviest, I have always been 150-160 lbs and so to see that number on the scale yesterday was a huge wakeup call. I couldn't believe it.

Luckily, my nutritionist is awesome. I'm seeing Vanessa Perrone, whose stuff I've been following for at least a year now. She creates a bunch of great online content and she has a really realistic approach to food, and I am keen to get my health back under control. Yesterday was the first appointment but I feel like I already understand a lot more about my body and my health, and I am hoping that seeing a nutritionist will make me more accountable both to my goals and to myself.

I will be shopping for food more regularly (no more one grocery every six weeks oops) and posting about food on social media, so let me know if you want me to post recipes or dedicate more posts to it.  But the real purpose of this post was to talk about the fact that one aspect of your lifestyle (your food habits) can really affect everything.

One of the questions that I was asked yesterday was how I felt about myself on a scale of 1 to 5. Right now, I feel like a one. I am super confident in some areas, like my academics for example. I know that I am smart and I feel confident in the work that I'm doing. But in every other way I feel horrible. I don't feel pretty, I don't feel like I am being my best self with friends, and I am always self-conscious. The truth is that I have never felt like a five and I want to hit that point.

I think that my inner beauty not being at 5 has started affecting my outer beauty and that is affecting my fashion. I have gotten better at hiding my figure when I need to by being good at accentuating small parts of myself, like my waist, but I don't want to have to feel like I'm constantly hiding something or cheating the system. I have never been able to see my cheekbones, really, for as long as I can remember, and I desperately want to.

The plan is for me to spend time planning my meals for the week on Sunday and go shopping and do prep for what I need on Mondays so that I can have food that is fresh, healthful, and good for me. No more takeout. I'm going to be eating more than I eat now (every three to four hours) and more food than I was used to eating before, but better proportioned food. This means more of things that I already liked (ie: baby spinach, kale, and romaine lettuce) and less of those things that I eat and enjoy but are just plain not good for me (ie: them hamburgers). I think that if I can get excited about food and make food that looks good, I will want to start making more of a change overall.

Everyone says to focus on inner beauty but that is really easy to say in a world where the average woman seems to be a size six and you're a size 14. But I am done feeling sorry for myself. I am going to war with my weight, and I will be the victor this time.

1 comment:

  1. It definitely is true in that once you feel better on the inside, everything gets better.

    Best of luck to you! :)


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